Call with Anne: 1 step at a time - friendship with Tony. I need the help. He needs the animals. Tony, go camping in the trailer every month, twice a month. We never spent so much time together. We both like solitary. Go camp and gain independence, confidence. Give me space. When he gets home he says yes, he'd like to. Anne & I say, it is time to work as little as possible. It is time to write poetry. Five years. Cut down on goats. I need to stay on my course. Alexander Hamilton: I won't give away my shot. Hellow: here is Mary. Mary & I out for Mexican dinner, big beers. Drive home rain & fog. 1 goat has head stuck in feeder but comes free with cruel push in the dark. Wind blows hard. Ice on goat water. Morning, I am short: cold, the horses need work, I want to sit by the no-fire-fire after feeding, cleaning stalls. Mary comes down to horses. We brush together like we did at Barnabee. Mary takes photos of Kalypso. She is dark with red highlights in the sun, fluid and young and sweet. 3 dogs in the video. Old black one stands dazed, big white puff watches alert, black & white lurks in the back-ground carrying a foot long leg bone. On the video you can hear the wind. My glasses are splashed and spotted from watering eyes. Kansas. We scrub yesterday's war paint off with brushes. She is mostly white & gray. Mary & I trot and walk down the driveway with my mare. At the gate I take the bridle off. The 3 of us walk & trot back up out of free choice. I say we don't have to take Beau, I can do stall exercises. Mary says we owe it to him. We do stall exercises and then trot & walk both directions. Beau arches his orange neck. Yesterday I tell Anne I am a participant now in life. I don't want to turn life into a retirement plan. She says no I can't become a retirement plan. I need to live every second of my life. Mary and I sit on the red metal bench in front of the porch in the sun. She says her thumbs hurt. I show her my middle finger will not move to straightness. We both have a finger that locks especially in the morning. When I stand up my right hip will ache from the cold. Tony drives in in the red pickup. We 3 sit facing the sun.